Dating man with children
We seem to keep having the same fights about his needy ex-wife and the negative impact she has on our relationship.Despite my wish to appear mature and chill, I have a strong distaste for the ex-wife.And that’s this: If you and his kids were drowning in the ocean, I can assure you that Adam would rescue his kids before you.
I think you should consider how you feel about Adam’s kids two and a half years into this relationship, because they aren’t going anywhere. If you and Adam get married, these three kids will be your stepchildren, and my guess is that you don’t know them very well, because kids—like people of all ages—aren’t always “pleasant” and sometimes—again, like adults—“go out of control.” I imagine that they’re going through their own struggles related to the divorce—adjusting to two homes, to their mother’s less-than-stable situation, and also, don’t forget, to a woman in their dad’s life.Hopefully, Adam will be willing to get some professional help in navigating his co-parenting situation, even if his ex-wife declines to participate with him.Just remember that you two have some navigating to do, too, in figuring out what your life together will look like in this blended family.If he doesn’t respond to his ex’s calls for help with the kids, he might worry that they aren’t okay and that he’s neglecting their needs.
But if he does respond, he might worry that he’s making you feel angry or unimportant.
One option might be for Adam and his ex to see a therapist who can help them navigate their co-parenting arrangement, creating parameters and offering tools for handling the kids when his ex is alone with them.