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Being in a state of want makes me feel unfulfilled. After separating from my wife I made a conscious decision to not actively pursue partners. The problem I have with dating — with seeking someone to date, specifically — is that it puts me in a state of want.But apparently, when I was single, I was in a minority of men who could be classified as Casanovas.Says Andrew Smiler, author of “Challenging Casanova”:“Research typically shows about 15 percent of guys have three or more partners in any given 12-month span.In other words, I think lots of men would like to have sex with more than three women in a calendar year, but don’t have the confidence, wherewithal, opportunity or “game” to be able to do so.2) Smiler’s definition of Casanova depends on men sleeping around for 3 consecutive years.Well, what if a guy sleeps with ten women in 2010, has a girlfriend thru all of 2011, and sleeps with 20 women in 2012? Thus, if a player ever gets a girlfriend, it negates him from being a Casanova.
And I can just as equally count all those who have always only ever been interested in finding true love through committed relationships.
If you follow those guys over time the number of guys who have three or more partners a year for as long as three years, that drops to about 5 percent.
So there are definitely some guys out there who are doing it – but it’s really a small percentage of guys.
By contrast, if you look at guys who are very religious, that’s about 15 percent of guys, and most of them really are devoutly religious, really dedicated to their partner.
There’s way more of that than guys that are having three partners per year for three years.1) There would be more men who were “Casanovas” if those men were able to BE Casanovas.We pushed boundaries of friendship, exploring the line between platonic and romantic.