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Yet even though they found it tiring to field endless questions about what "mix" they were, some multiracial people told that they preferred online dating to dating IRL, as it gave them the ability to be upfront about their identity on their profile.Alyssa said that putting your racial background on your profile preempts the need to have an awkward conversation about it later on.Many users speak of their ambiguous ethnicity being used as a pick up line, either through direct questioning or comments like, "You look so exotic." "I don't typically get messages that come off as flirtatious or fetishizing me right off the bat, but some people will message me being like 'What's your mix? It's a question many mixed race people are familiar with, a subtle code for "Why don't you look the way I think you should? Alyssa*, 25, a woman of Japanese and white heritage, used OKCupid before she got into a long-term relationship." To avoid dealing with that, some mixed race people put their "mix" right in their profiles, in hopes of fending off those questions. While on the website, she put her racial background on her profile.According to a 2012 study, nearly 9% of couples are of different races, nearly twice as many as there were in 2002.People are weird about race in the dating world, though, and despite wanting to come off as progressive and open-minded, many dating app users still have racial biases.According to mixed-race Grindr user Ben*, 23, when people say they're looking exclusively for, say, Asians or Latinos, it's often in a fetishizing way, as if the users are looking for a race and not a person."I definitely see the 'No Asians' or 'No Latinos,' but also 'Into smooth Asians' or into 'sexy Latino men,'" he told "So what are you, anyway?
"In person there's not a good way to say 'I'm biracial, don't be weird' before someone makes it a thing."That said, the people who are going to make it a "thing" will likely do so, regardless of whether they're meeting you IRL or on an online dating website.Nobody walks away from online dating without a negative story or two, whether it's having to fend off the guy who won't stop asking for nude pics or that couple that thinks just because you're bisexual, you're down for a threesome. As a biracial person and the creator of the #biraciallookslike hashtag, I've experienced this firsthand.